GKTWRFC Tour 2006

THEME: Cops and Robbers
DESTINATION: Newcastle

Friday 1st December 2006

The phone calls between the social secs started at 9.30am to find 2 "special" fresher's to take on tour. These continued for approx 4 hours, still no fresher's to take.

An emergency meeting was called at the spit with extra back up, eventually we found a couple of helpers who managed to get us 1 "special" fresh, although he did not seem very happy about it. While warming our "special" fresh up with a shot of rugby discharge we spotted an unsuspecting victim passing the perimeter, immediately we sprang into action and kidnapped him.

We met at Victoria station dressed in our cops and robbers outfits and dressed our "special" fresher's in their tour tops, tiaras and fairy wings, they looked very special indeed..

Tour tops were handed out but unfortunately our experienced fresher who was going to be tour snog explained that she was no longer single, a new tour snog was appointed. We boarded the mega bus and prepared ourselves for the next 7 hours journey with copious amounts of alcohol and munchies.

The "special" fresher's were given a make-over and plied with booze, they both seemed fairly content.

The next 7 hours were a bit of a blur for a few of the girls who ended up spending some of it in the toilet and sleeping.

Tour snog began with our 2 girls getting 2 snogs each!

Finally we arrived in Newcastle, we grabbed our bags and headed to our palace for the weekend aka The Albatross hostel, once we had dropped off our bags we headed out to The Venue.. A great night had by all, we danced, consumed lots of alcohol and tours snogs got to work on their tallies. Drunken munch of McDonalds was purchased on the way home and everyone made it back safely and was tucked up in bed by around 4am.

Saturday 2nd December

Next morning we awoke, fed our "special" fresher's with some vodka and coke and decided they needed a change of appearance, 1 turned a gorgeous shade of purple and the other was given a blue beard.

Breakfast time at Yates's where only a few braved getting back on the lash and the others filled their stomachs before the big match.

We arrived at the pitch aka a golf course and began to warm up? The next 60 minutes (4 x 15 min quarters) were a struggle with only a couple of streakers and 'bomb dive' to keep us entertained, all in all we were thoroughly stuffed by the oppo, I'm quite surprised no-one vommed on the sideline..

Back at the Albatross we showered, rested and got ready for the nights carnage. A glorious feast of "all you can eat" Chinese was consumed with a romantic dinner for 2 for our "special" fresher's.

Wetherspoons was our next location where cocktails, snakey b and shots of gin were devoured with a great mix of drinking games, (a cheeky game of pool was played by an old girl and fresher, obviously the fresher lost!).

Much debauchery later we arrived at the Blue Baboon, where we proceeded to cut a massive amount of shapes on the dance floor, there was snogs aplenty from our tour snogs plus also a fair amount of flanging going on by an old girl..

On the way home we found some rather sexy policeman and found it highly amusing? I think they may have thought we were freaks but they were happy to smile for pics.

Back at the 'tross' and there was a high amount of tom foolery from some of the girls involving a group of Scottish boys and Jack Daniels, this was the moment that one of our tour snogs was crowned 'winner'.

Most people were now safely tucked in bed but there were still two hardcore lashers up, one of the girls made it to the toilet for a cheeky shag but got put off when a woman came in and started farting in the next door cubicle, 7 am and they finally made it to bed.

Sunday 3rd December

Next morning and we were up, packed and getting a fry-up down our necks, alcohol bought we made our way to the bus station and waited in gale force winds for the mega bus.

The next 7 hours were more subdued than our previous journey but never the less we all managed to stay on the drink. Kangaroo court was executed with all those convicted made to down a concoction of alcoholic beverages.

While the old girls quietly chatted, the fresher's decided to invent a rather annoying game of "I'm a big fish".

On arrival into London we all said our goodbyes and headed off in different directions, a few of us made it to the Indian for a traditional ruby murry.

A completely triumphant weekend for the GKT women's rugby club, the memories of this weekend will haunt us forever?.

GKTWRFC Tour 2004

DISCLAIMER: This story is based on real events. Names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved.

THEME: superheroes
DESTINATION: Southampton

FRIDAY 5TH NOVEMBER

In the early afternoon our team of superheroes meets at Boland House. Instantly we can all tell who was into comics as a child…..

Our "special guest" skipped lectures and has not yet been captured. A small delegation is sent to find our "special guest". They come back empty handed. Another group is sent to search the gym, swimming pool and our "special guest's" flat. They return half an hour later without our "special guest". Plan B is formulated…..

As the team move on to Waterloo, a small group is left to put Plan B into action. Thankfully a kind soul helps us out and sets up our "special guest" in spectacular style…Plan A is back on….

Meanwhile the rest of our superheroes are finding food and drink in Waterloo Station. The whole team is back together, with our "special guest". Time to catch the train. Let the drinking begin…

Our "special guest" is sent to change - Bananaman returns complete with large inflatable banana. The drinking games begin. Bananaman is unable to grasp the concept of "my hat has three corners" despite plenty of help from a sleeping random! Tour snog begins.

Arrival in Southampton. We drop off our bags in the hotel and walk to SUSU. To our horror we discover that UCL's football boys have beaten us to it. We ignore them and party.

The night ends with one lady having slashed the tour snog record with an amazing 120. And another lady has disappeared…..

SATURDAY 6TH NOVEMBER

After her fancy dress walk of shame, the missing lady returns, complete with huge grazes on each knee (something about stone steps apparently...). Our "special guest" attempts the 'I'm feeling queasy, I think I'm going to throw up' method of avoiding a ginning. Sorry, mate, we aren't going to fall for that one. We walk down to the local shop to get food for breakfast. Our "special guest" provides 2 of the girls with some dodgy egg mayonnaise sandwiches.

We make our way to the match. The unfortunate pair start to feel ill…

We appear to have forgotten the shirts. So we all play in our tour t-shirts, it seems the ref doesn't mind if we all have the same number. Our reinforcements are stuck in traffic, so we borrow a player from the opposition. We play a hard-fought match of three 20 minute periods, only to lose 20-22.

The reinforcements arrive, complete with a box of red wine and a new idea. The six-minute challenge is born. The challenge is completed and we eat. We then return to the hotel and prepare for a night out.

We meet the Southampton girls in Clown's. There is no way to accurately describe the true nature of this dump; I'm not even going to attempt it. We are introduced to some new drinking games and the carnage begins….

The fallen soldiers are walked back to the hotel by those who are less drunk. The display of digestive pyrotechnics is impressive to say the least…and it's only 9pm! The fallen soldiers are left to empty the contents of their stomachs into the hotel toilets, though one lady decides that her room-mate's shoes provide a far more attractive option.

Those who remain move on to Jester's. We dance the night away, but decide to leave at 1am - only 5 remain standing.

SUNDAY 7TH NOVEMBER

Our "special guest" is given a bath, a rather traumatic experience apparently. The two victims of our "special guest's" culinary choices take the train home - it appears that they have food poisoning. We collect our bags and make our way to a pub for lunch.

Kangaroo court is in session. Our sober lady receives a pint of full cream milk for her misdemeanours. The others play roulette with shots of clear alcoholic fluid….there's gin in there somewhere!

We decide that our "special guest" needs a different hair colour. So we choose bright red. The dye is put on in the pub loo and covered with a carrier bag while we leave to catch the train.

The dye is removed in the train toilet - 3 people, one tiny loo cubicle. The new hair colour appears to suit our "special guest", damn! We continue the drinking with a game of 'I have never on tour'…. The details of one young lady's Friday night are soon discovered.

Arrival at Waterloo. A quick curry before we go our separate ways. And so ends a 'memorable' 3 days for some and a hazy blur for most of the team.